oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
There's a naked man in my car right now.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
