You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
