Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
