I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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