i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Watching her eat just hurts me
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
