you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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