What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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