So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
