You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
