If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
