and she was petting her beer can
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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