Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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