found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
