just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Vodka?
Forever.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
