Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
