why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
