The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
