careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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