halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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