So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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