He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
