my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being pregnant is like rehab
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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