were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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