Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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