anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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