Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
