i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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