Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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