I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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