Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
