I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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