I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
