I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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