Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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