Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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