You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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