Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I am available for nakedness
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
