Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
