What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
