I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
