He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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