38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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