I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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