Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
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