So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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