if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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