I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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