You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
