My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
