got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
