Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
