I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
