I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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