dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
