I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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