WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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