Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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