in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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