I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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