your thong is hanging out like whoa
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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