Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
