I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
