the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It's blow job season.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
