Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
one two three fourrrrnication!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
