So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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