Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We just shotgunned beers for America
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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