He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
