Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
