Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
