i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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