ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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