You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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